potty training 2007

I finally decided to bite the bullet and start really potty training Ruthie this week. She has been going on the potty about once a day, and getting a treat for it, and I would keep asking if she needed to go and telling her that when she feels that feeling to let me know so we can go to the potty. She has started really not wanting to be still for diaper changes, and that is what made me decide on Monday that this is the week. Half-way training has been good to build up to this week, but it had to become an all-out assault. So far we are 0-3 for #2, but doing well with #1. She went on the floor twice Monday(I am so thankful for hardwood floors), and not at all yesterday or today. She's 3-0 for #1 today. She has figured out that peepee running down her legs is no fun, and she doesn't want to mess up her big-girl panties. I'm very proud of her, and I'm liking the money we're saving on diapers.

Ruthie is such a big girl, more and more. She is talking up a storm, becoming very opinionated and wanting to do things all by herself. She can express herself, and is really growing up in so many ways, which is bittersweet for me and Jay.

Yesterday Jay was cleaning out our nasty outdoor garbage can and Ruthie and I were playing in Jay's truck cab. (This is one of her favorite pasttimes. She steers, adjusts the radio, puts up the sunshade and takes it down, and we pretend to go get ice-cream. We asked her what flavor she would like and she said, "salami." Yummy.) So as Jay was hosing out the garbage can Ruthie asked "what's Daddy doing?" I said, "He's cleaning out the stinky garbage can." Her reply- "that's sweet of him."

Best Wishes, Hanno and Lauren Vanderbijl!

The sweet couple (sorry they're sideways)
The reception was held at the Eastern Shore Arts Center, and the art was full of flowers.
Mallory, Hanno, Lauren and Me
All Ruthie wanted to eat was strawberries. The wedding was beautiful!

Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

Sorry, I know it's Siete de Mayo now, but, as you can see by my postings, I'm playing catch-up, and alot has been going on lately. These pictures are from our favorite Mexican place, Los Rancheros. We celebrated the Cinco with our friends Jen and Brandon. Brandon has been out of town, well, out of country for many weeks so we were glad to see his smiling face across the table. It was muy divertido to hang out and eat some frijoles y enchiladas y guacamole con amigos. (Note Ruthie's hand stealing my cheese...Hey Ruthie, that's Nacho Cheese! And her appropriate for the occasion sippy cup with Dora the Explorer on it...Vamanos!)

Happy Belated B-day, Dad!

Happy Anniversary to us!

Our anniversary was April 20th, but we celebrated the weekend before. I forced Jay to take me to my favorite restaurant and we had a lovely dinner without the kids! Special thanks to Jen for baby sitting...you're awesome, Jen!

Five years of marriage, two kids, one cat, and here we are. I love you, Jay!

oh great ocean

Another thing to add to my list of things I don't want to run into while swimming in the ocean:

sea serpent/sea wormy thing

List includes:
hungry shark
angry manta ray with barbed tail
man-eating jellyfish
man-eating squid
men in speedos (especially hairy men in speedos)
men in thongs (gagging sound)
electric eel

Saturday morning I went to Bellingrath Gardens, a beautiful place to visit in the spring. My friend Jen had invited me to help her out with one of her Girl Scout programs, and I was excited to be a part of it. The theme revolved around the book The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett, which is one of my all time favorite reads. I read it over and over as a child and I keep revisiting it as an adult because of its wonderful characters and themes of regeneration and redemption. Plus I love gardens and growing things.

Jen's program started with a discussion of the book, then a tour of the gardens with a scavenger hunt, lunch, writing haikus, and creating tussie mussies. It was really a well-put-together event, and I enjoyed seeing Jen in action. I hear alot about her programs but I've never actually been to one. Jen is really amazing in her organization, planning and execution of these events. She is really gifted, and I was very impressed! The gardens were wonderful, and it was fun to see the little girls enjoying the different flowers, fountains and all the winding trails as they walked about.

Here are my haikus:

The water is clear

See the fish swimming around

Blue green gray fins shine

----

Green is the great lawn

Bordered by tall blue foxgloves

Bees hover weightless

----

Mermaid in the sun

Cascading water droplets

Will you make a wish?

Bellingrath Gardens

Somedays I am just frustrated. I feel thwarted in most of my pursuits. Some days I just want to do something that I want to do. Today I want to work in my yard. It needs a lot of work and I've been itching to do it, but Mac rarely naps long enough to get it done, and I doubt I could get it done with him out there with me. So these days of frustration build up and then I end up in a full scale pity party.

Right now Ruthie is lying in her bed saying "paint my toes, mommy," and Mac is working up to a full scale wail.

Now Mac is asleep and Ruthie is wailing. She has started fighting naptime. This is not a good development.

Yesterday I went grocery shopping and usually when I go into a store people admire or come see Mac and comment on how cute he is or something along those lines. Yesterday this sweet old couple, probably in their 80s came to see him and ended up telling me how they had three sons who died from various causes. It was sort of awkward, and very sad, and they were saying to enjoy the children while I have them. I mean, what do you say to people? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Wow. They were really a sweet couple, and I took what they said to heart. So then TODAY I'm at Lowe's buying a few plants and this lady in her 50s says, "Look, Mom, (to her mom) a baby boy." Then she turned to me and said, "I lost my grandson three days ago." She proceeded to tell me how he had fallen into the pool when no one was around, and basically drowned. This may sound horrible, but I was annoyed. I am sorry for her pain, which I'm sure is consuming, but I just don't think you tell complete strangers things like that. What a horrible story to tell a complete stranger with two children(unless it is meant as a warning to watch out for pools). It is an unthinkable tragedy, and I'm not sure what she wanted me to say. So two days in a row I stood there, sort of dumbfounded, saying I'm sorry, I'm sorry and trying to get away. I am not going anywhere tomorrow.

But I love my son and my daughter and I hold them close. I hate to draw a cheesy lesson from these morbid moments, but maybe that's why they happened. I don't know.

I think people these days have no sense of propriety. Everything is revealed; for example, I was sitting in my pediatrician's waiting room one day, and a lady came in with her little two year old girl. She saw someone she knew and here's the gist of their conversation (names have been changed to protect the innocent):

Mom #1: Hi So-and-so! How are you?
So-and-so: Hi, what're you here for?
M: Little Mary has a lesion on her butt and it just won't go away!
S: No kidding? Do they know what's causing it?
M: They think it's a staph infection. It's been going around. What's wrong with little Johnny?
S: Oh, just an in-grown toe nail.
Continue small-talk.

I was directly in between the two women, and I was really surprised at their lack of discretion in revealing their children's health issues. Seems like they could have waited to discuss it when Mom#1 sat down beside So-and-so, on the "well" side of the waiting room. I think our world of "reality shows" and news shows revealing everything about everybody has fostered the creation of a society of people who have no tact and no shame. On the other hand, I know some people are too closed-off, and invulnerable, building walls to keep other people out. But some things need to be handled gracefully. The lady at Lowe's showed no emotion, it just seemed like she wanted attention or some sort of sympathy from me, someone who doesn't even know her name. It was not as if she was crying out for real help, but merely sharing a sensational, shocking story in order to satisfy some sort of pain that maybe she doesn't know how to deal with. By doing so, she created an awkward situation and cast a dark cloud on someone's day.

Now Mac is crying and Ruthie has given up and is resting. Oh the drama of it all.

Now I'm holding Mac and I suppose I won't get my plants planted today. That's ok. And Mac just pooped on me. That's ok too.

Ruthie loved seeing her dancing rockstar mommy so much that we made her one too!

Create Your Own PaloozaHead - Visit Lollapalooza.com

blah blah blah yackety shmackety

I guess I can say the reason I haven't written for a while is that I've been a single parent for two weeks. Jay has been up at Camp LeJeune for basic combat training. I've only gotten brief snippets of what the heck that actually means based on our brief phone calls, but I think it was all worth it because he got to fire a grenade launcher. He is flying back today and I am very glad.

I stayed home the first week he was gone, determined to tough it out and test my self with the thought that there's a good chance he will be deployed in the next few years, for six months or more at a time. My week went much better than I thought it would, partly because we stayed busy, and kept to a pretty tight schedule. I even got to watch one of my favorite movies, "Wives and Daughters" which is several hours long. I was definitely exhausted by the end of each day, and longing for adult conversation. My parents came for Easter weekend, just as Mac and Ruthie were coming down with colds. I don't know what it is about them getting sick when Jay is gone, but it seems to be a trend. So we went to our church's egg hunt, and Ruthie just wasn't feeling well. Her favorite things were the pink-frosted cookie she got and the tiny bottle of water that she could drink out of all by herself.

This brings me to some of my thoughts on parenting. Sometimes I do things with Ruthie because I think she will have lots of fun, and when she appears to not be having fun(or not having fun in the way I thought she should or would) I get very frustrated and I want to shake her (not dangerously) and say, "would you have fun because you are a little kid and this should be totally fun for you! What's your problem?" And I realize I should add, "and I would be fulfilled as a parent when you act as I think you should and be the perfect little daughter frolicking excitedly around the egg hunt, getting as many eggs as you can and looking so cute so I can get a good picture." It is crazy to me that I feel this way and get so intent on having these "happy" moments. I am a generally laid back person, and I never wanted to be the mom who forces her kid to do things just for her own gratification or because of some sort of control issue. If I don't get the reaction I want, I need to let it go and say, ok, sit and enjoy your bottled water. Delight in what you will, it is still precious two-year old delight, even if it is not so picture perfect. Forget the eggs. She is only just two for crying out loud. (And she was not feeling well.) So I did get over it and let her sit and happily chug her little Nemo bottled water, while I got some cute pictures which I will post when I get home.

Ruthie's trend is toward introversion and I don't want to force her to be something she's not. I also don't want to label her at this young age and use it as an excuse or plant the seed in her mind that this is what she is and always will be. I was a very shy child, but really turned around as I grew and became very outgoing. And I'm not saying being an introvert is bad, by any means. I just want her to be free to be herself, yet I want to challenge her and shape her carefully, without crushing who she is. I'm glad my feelings at the egg hunt bothered me and made me think about my motives and figure out what was behind my frustration. Do I do things for her enjoyment or for my own? Is my fulfillment contingent upon her meeting my expectations? Does she know that she is free to enjoy things in her own way? And why do I get so hung up on getting a good picture? (This could be a whole-nother post for another day.)Am I trying to create her after my own image? Thinking is a good thing. Over-analyzing isn't usually a problem for me.

Yesterday we took Ruthie and Mac to the Gulfarium just outside of Fort Walton Beach, FL. It was a beautiful, no, glorious day on the Gulf Coast and my brother and mom took the day off to take our families to see the dolphins. I was trying to not have expectations for Ruthie's reaction, and it was so sweet to see her eyes light up as the dolphins swam past us in their underwater tank at the windows for viewing them up close. She was so excited, and said "hi dolphins!" and laughed as they came back around. She loved every bit of it, the stingrays and sharks, the loggerhead turtles and sea lions and penguins too. I loved seeing her experience and enjoy these creatures and I think that's what it's all about.

Now I'm going to go outside and enjoy our San Diego weather.

one fine weekend in march

These pictures are from this past week. My children and I got to spend time with our friends at the beach and at Amy Oaks' wedding. It was so much fun! We also went to my brother's nursery again and got to see the new plants and people there. The weather was wonderful, and we made it back home tired but with some new happy memories.

confessions of a twenty-something housewife/mom

when I'm alone in my car I turn the radio up really really loud and play Led Zeppelin or Bush really really loud

during naptime I get out the sweets and eat them (today it was Little Debbie Zebra cakes)

I dream of weekends where I do nothing but sleep and read and watch movies and never ever do dishes

I have cussed these past two years (usually internally or under my breath)-and I don't remember ever cussing before

I am mean to my cat sometimes. Before children I was not mean to my cat. I have decided it's because I can't stand to have one more little creature needing something from me all the time. I can't deal with it. He's an animal for crying out loud. (I have been convicted about this and I'm really trying. The other day I petted him for a long time.)

I cannot keep laundry done. It is a perpetual pile and I've decided the only solution is for my family to go around naked for approximately 2 days, and that would allow me time to catch up with the pile and get ahead of the game. I often think of my dear Ms Oaks with seven children. I think every time I was over at their house she was folding laundry. I don't know how she did it. I only have two kids and they're pretty small right now. I will say that my son does two or three times his share of soiling clothes- mine and his.

I listen for the sound of the mailman clicking my mailbox closed. I love checking the mail. Somehow it is very very pitiful that checking the mail is one of the highlights of my day. Even though it is usually bills, I love looking for my magazines and wedding or shower invitations or the occasional fun letter or card from a distant or not so distant friend. I could not do without email, it is so convenient, but I love good old-fashioned mail.

Sometimes I go two days without showering. Personal hygiene takes a backseat when sleep is required.

I dream of a dishwasher, an indoor laundry room, a pantry (really a redone kitchen), and a garage/storage shed. I try not to dwell on it, but these would be lovely luxuries for me.

My last confession is that I love being a housewife/mom. I love hearing my 2-year old say "I'm cranky, mommy" or "I need help, mommy." I love seeing my 4 month old smile with his whole being when I go to pick him up in the morning. I love it when my husband comes home from work and gives me a hug and a kiss. I love getting in bed at night, tired from a long day spent with two precious children and a neglected cat.

war eagle

mac

This is the most precious baby boy ever! It is hard to imagine loving a little person so much, but I totally do. Mac is growing and growing and becoming more and more enjoyable and personable. He is very ticklish and is figuring out how to laugh. When he laughs he inevitably gets the hiccups, a trait shared by his sister and dad. This is so strange to me. It is obviously genetic, but I've never heard of it before. It makes laughing bittersweet because he hiccups and then spits up, and the hiccups are so strong, convulsing his whole self. One day he'll say, "thanks Dad." The other thing he can thank his Dad for is sweaty feet. (Mac's cousin Jackson also had very sweaty feet as an infant. Maybe it's a boy thing.) Mac's feet are either cold and clammy or hot and clammy. It is kind of nasty and it produces lots of toe lint from his socks. Which I've given up putting them on now that warmer weather is here. Speaking of baby socks... here's a quote from Jay, I think it was yesterday-"why is there a sock in the bread basket?" Good question. If you think big people socks are hard to keep track of, try baby socks.

can't fake the foo

Here is my rave on the best stinkin chicken fingers in the world. Where might you find the best honey-mustard in all of creation? Foosackly's. Where might you find the most tender chicken fingers in any hemisphere? Foosackly's. With just the right amount of spice in the crispy coating, and just the right amount of the said coating on the finger, I find these fingers to be matchless. Just today my mom and I went to Foosackly's and got our lovely styrofoam containers and took them to a park to eat. What a greasy delight. Oh, and the sweet tea...it is suh-weeeet. And they have that rabbit turd ice that is ice at it's best. Ok. One more thing I like is that they are not afraid to destroy the environment; they serve their drinks in styrofoam cups which I prefer because they actually keep drinks cool-nay, cold- even in the inferno of the summertime in the Southland. Antibiodegradableness is sometimes a blessing. Before all you AlGorians jump on my back, I would like to state that I love the environment. I actually recycle paper products in a little green container that I put out by the curb when it gets full. (Notice, it is a GREEN container.) I love trees, and I actually got teary eyed when they cut down some huge oaks up the road from me several years ago to widen a road. (I'm not referring to Hillcrest. I was a little sad for those trees but that street drove me insane. I needed to get my tires realigned and balanced and rotated after every drive down that road.) I love birds and I have not one, but TWO feeders in my yard for those that feel the need, the need for seed. I could go on and on about my enjoyment of the outdoors, mainly one of the few things I do in life that make me feel like I am doing what I was made to do and God is smiling on me. (All of you should find these things for yourself and do them...) So what I am saying is that I believe in the Dominion Mandate, that we are to "subdue" the earth for our needs and pleasure and ultimately for the Creator's glory. So I occasionally drink from styrofoam cups, I pick up litter, and I eat meat.

This stream of consciousness post brought to you by Foosackly's, with three convenient locations to meet your foo needs.

This is what happens when we don't "subdue the earth" i.e. the proliferation of purple dinosaur populations resulting in unnecessarily violent attacks, even in places where children play. My brother lived to tell about this attack.

tagged

What is Quirkiness anyway? "Quirkiness is in the eye of the beholder." I've been tagged and I must post 6 quirky things about me. I agree with what Jessie said about feeling like I'm normal, but I remember a quote, not sure from whom, “Everyone is someone else's weirdo.” So I tried to step outside of myself and determine my weirdness from an objective perspective. You'll have to let me know how I did.

I pick my eyebrows when I'm thinking, reading, or stressed out. If I happen to pull an eyebrow out I roll it in my fingers. I like the sound and feel of it. After I had my first baby I literally had bald spots in my eyebrows from pulling on them.

I like to eat cream cheese wrapped in slices of bologna. I'm not sure where I came up with this, but it is yummy.

I hate monkeys. Not sure why. They disgust me somehow.

I love words. Big words and little words. I like reading the dictionary.

I like Kevin Bacon but I hate Footloose. (this doesn't count, I just thought it fit here.)

I love vinegar. I eat it on my spinach. One time my husband dared me to drink the leftover vinegar after the spinach was gone, and I did it. And I liked it except for the burning. I love things with vinegar-salad dressings, pickles, mustard. They make my mouth water.

I have a very strong sense of smell. I love lots of weird smells, like new books; shoe stores; new tires; that shiny paper that lots of newsletters and mail come on; gas stations; old books; woodsmoke; bandaids; and beach air. I love the smell of freshly turned dirt and newly mown grass. I like driving by bread factories and not paper mills. This smelling thing is a blessing and a curse.

I have very small wrists. I think they've been the same size since elementary school.

happy birthday, Cary Perry!!

Today is Cary's 30th birthday. She has already celebrated her birthday because she lives in South Korea and she is 15 hours ahead of our time. I miss Cary and I'm glad she and her Army husband Craig are going to be moving back to the States this spring.

I love you more than all the platypi in Australia Cary!

the ball

Saturday night Jay and I went to a military Mardi Gras ball. It was fun to be Cinderella and get dressed up and dance the night away. I found that the military part of the ball gave it a little more purpose than just a "mardi gras" ball, which I think is a purposeless celebration. I was very glad to meet two people that Jay works with when he goes to Drill, making it seem more real and tangible to me. The band was good, and dinner was pretty tasty. We posed prom-like just for the memory. The reality of the evening was leaving in the middle to go nurse my baby (who refuses to take a bottle, so far- we're gonna keep trying). All in all it was good to wash off the spit-up, get out of the house, and enjoy a few dances with my husband.

old-school obsession

Every once in a while we break out the old Nintendo. I say every once in a while because Jay is an obsessive compulsive Nintendo player. Once he has gripped the rectangle controls, there's no going back. I have to pry it out of his hands at midnight or later so he can stumble into bed, eyes glazed over and thumbs twitching. He is really good at Nintendo. He can rescue the princess in Super Mario Bros. in no time, and he can play Tetris in the hundreds of thousands score level, and he wins the Super Tecmo bowl every time. It is amazing. He does admit to his obsession, which is the first step toward beating it.

I on the other hand, am not good at playing Nintendo. I get killed by anything that moves in Super Mario Bros., including myself. I get very frustrated, chasing mushrooms down chasms and biting the big one at the hand of annoying flying turtles. I get frantic playing Tetris, and I can't play it for very long. I guess it's because I spent my childhood READING and PLAYING OUTDOORS. Or maybe I have limited thumb dexterity. I don't know. But I think it's time to pack up the old gaming system for a while. It is fun to watch people our age when they see the box at our house...their eyes light up and they can't wait to get their hands on the controls. It is definitely a fun relic to keep around. I bet we could make some money off of it on ebay though....hmmm.

hair

This past Saturday I got a haircut. I was looking forward to it and planning to get it cut pretty short, which I did, and I'm liking it so far. The first picture is the day of, with the lovely straightening job that my hairdresser can do like magic. The next picture is after washing it and letting it dry back to its naturally curly self. It's a little crazy, but not like some out of control triangle heads I've had before. You can only do so much with curly hair, and this is a fun new option for me.

This last picture is my studly man Jay with his new hair. His workplace just changed their facial hair policy and he can now grow a goatee or beard. I've been wanting him to have a goatee for a while, and I never understood or liked the policy. But hooray! They freed the follicles! He'll have to shave it every month for his Coast Guard drill weekend, but it grows quickly and we can enjoy it the rest of the time.

So happy together

So much to say, So much to say, So much to say

(I can't seem to get the pictures where I want them. Sorry)

So this post is going to be full of random stuff. Brace yourself.

24
First I'd like to express my excitement about the new season of24 . We've been waiting a long time and the season opener last week was worth the wait. Jack is back from his 20 months in a Chinese prison, being tortured but not saying a word. He is strangely vulnerable, but still tough as nails. The big surprise was Curtis dying, after Jack was forced to shoot him. Oh, and the atomic bomb going off in LA. My dad was hoping it took out Hollywood...Anyway...I'm glad that the writers and producers are not afraid to be politically incorrect and portray the big bad enemy as radical Muslims. This is the reality of our day whether or not some people want to admit it and possibly offend someone.

Mac
My precious son is now 9 weeks old. He is a good baby and I'm really enjoying him more and more. He "talks" alot- all the "goos" and "ohs" and "maas" are so much fun. He sometimes gets so talkative and smiley and excited that he spits up all down himself. He's sleeping well at night, usually through the night, but the last couple he's been up around 2. At his 2 month check up (last Tuesday) he weighed 11 lbs and some ounces and was 24 1/2 inches long. This means he's growing well and gaining weight. They gave him four shots, two in each leg, which is horrible for him and for me. But he's a tough guy and he pushed through the pain.

Pinelands Nursery (see pictures at top)
This weekend I was in Milton, FL where my family lives. I took Ruthie to see her Uncle Alan's nursery, and she loved it. She got to pick a kumquat;meet a cat, a turtle and a puppy; stomp in rocks, and look at lots of plants and trees. My brother Alan opened the nursery a couple of years ago and I am so proud of him. He sells any plant you could want, plus some really fun Mexican pottery and ironwork. He has a greenhouse full of tropical plants, tons of rocks and gravel and stone, lily pads and palm trees, and a pet turtle in the office. There is a new cat that has wandered in and is living there, and he ate my brother's roast beef sandwich on Saturday. (This is a travesty. My dad made this heaping sandwich of the best roast beef I've ever tasted, and the cat got it when Alan went out to help a customer.) My family and I love plants, so this is such a wonderful thing for all of us to support and enjoy. It really is the nicest nursery I've ever seen, and several customers have told Alan this as well.

Alan started out working at a wholesale nursery in Navarre, when he was in high school and then while attending college. He stopped going to school in order to start a lawn service business that grew by leaps and bounds. This led to a landscaping and irrigation business, the landscaping part being what he enjoys the most. After several years of hard work and increasing success, he opened the nursery and sold the lawn maintenance business. So now he owns Pinelands Nursery and East Bay Landscaping. Alan turned 30 last year, and I am so impressed by his hard work and success. He is an awesome older brother, even though he did give me the flu for Christmas. He's even turned into a loving father of little Annabelle (19 mos) and Alee (9 weeks). So I salute you, entrepreneurial brother figure, mi hermano con queso!

If any of you friendly readers find yourself in or near Milton, you should stop by and purchase a kumquat bush or two! It is located on Highway 90 just north of I-10 at the FWB Navarre exit (Hwy 87).

Thoughts on Perspective and Space or Walking the Same Old Street in a Different Direction

The other day I went walking in my neighborhood. I walk alot, and I find myself going the same route, mainly because I know how long it will take, and how many miles it will take me. This day I reversed my route and it was so strange to me how different a walk it was. I saw several plants and trees that I had never noticed before. I saw houses from new angles and the way light fell through the trees and brought out new features of the same old street I had walked a million times before. Things hidden were revealed and I enjoyed it immensely. I think there are other streets I need to walk down in a different direction. The same eyes, the same feet tracking down the pavement, but new nuances of light and shadow, of hidden and revealed features, of angles and curves.

Happy Birthday Ruthie!

The day of the party was perfect- sunny, breezy and warm (74 degrees!). We were excited to have a January party outside in the park. Here is Ruth with her cousin Jackson and her friends Becca and Bailey. They had alot of fun!
Here is Ruthie on her actual birthday. She wanted to wear her party hat again when we ate the leftover cake. 

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year everyone! I put a picture of my brother on here because he got me sick. And a picture of Ruthie enjoying her second Christmas, while Mac enjoyed his first.

Today Auburn won the Cotton Bowl (sorry all you Nebraskans) so here is Ruth wearing her daddy's Auburn hat.

And Ruthie found her Halloween costume from last year, which she decided still fits and now she wants to wear it around the house.

What Child is this?

The Incarnation has always been a story of wonder, mystery, amazement to me. I've tried to imagine what it must have been like for all the people involved. The shepherds, Joseph, Mary's family, even Elizabeth. This year I find myself thinking more about Mary and wondering about all the details between the lines of the story in Luke that is so familiar and precious to me. And I find myself looking into the sleeping face of my newborn son and crying as I think of the Creator of the universe coming as a tiny, blood-covered infant, so suddenly dependent on his human parents for survival. His head lopsided from his journey through the birth canal. Every sense shocked at this entrance into air and humanity. His fists clenched, his lungs screaming as they learn to breathe. The King of Kings, wrapped in cloths, suckling at the breast of a young woman, sustained by her body as the milk flows into his stomach. He sighs and is full. She places him in the feeding trough, swaddled tightly, arms and legs bound. The Son of God, unable to hold up his head, his only means of communication a newborn's wailing. What a plunge, what a degradation. What foolishness! What a way to redeem a wayward, whoring people to Himself. My heart yearns to understand this God more. So I hold my baby so close, and I whisper to him of a King who came wrapped in flesh. I kiss my soft-skinned boy and think of another boy who came screaming into the world and was held in trembling hands, and was kissed by a woman as fumbling and frail as me. He chose our frailty. He stooped and took on the mantle of humanity. Bloody, gasping, time-locked humanity. The Word made flesh. God with us.

"Haste, haste, to bring him laud
The babe, the son of Mary."

Happy Birthday Jessie!!!!!

Let it be known this 13th day of December, year of our Lord 2006, that the Hodges have high speed internet and it is like a balm to my soul. Farewell dial-up! Rest in peace you destroyer of my time and patience! I feel like dancing.

Let it be known also (and more importantly) that this day marks the nativity of my dear friend forever, Jessie. She is a wonderful person who is now 28 years old. This upside down picture which is hilarious to me, is of us in Austin where we were frolicking in the Greenbelt (am I crazy or is that what it's called?). We have had so many adventures together, and most of my pictures for about 7 years of my life starting in 10th grade are of me and Jess doing something crazy, fun, or serious, like entering chickens at the fair. Borrowed chickens. In any case, I love you Jess, and I hope you have a wonderful day!

Here are some of Jessie's best qualities:
1. wisdom
2. common sense/practicality
3. fun loving/sense of humor
4. soft hair
5. honesty
6. reliability
7. ability to stay up late talking when 9 months pregnant
8. ability to operate large blue motor vehicles
9. loving heart (this is why she's so honest)
10. organization/planning


This may sound like just a list but I can sit here and think of multiple ways these have exhibited themselves over the years, and I am smiling. The list is definitely not comprehensive.

In closing, I'd like to quote a song or two that I find appropriate for the occasion

"Jessie is a friend
She's always been a good friend of mine..."
(I took some license and changed the actual spelling of the name Jesse)

-Rick Springfield


Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday dear Jessie
Happy Birthday to you
and many more
-(traditional)


"Jessie paint your picture
Bout how it's gonna be
By now I should know better
Your dreams are never free
But tell me all about our little trailer by the sea
Cause Jessie, you can always
Sell any dream to me"
-can't remember artist

Big Sis

Ruthie loves her little brother. She is having some major adjustments as far as she and I are concerned, but she doesn't seem to hold it against Mac. She kisses him and touches his nose and covers him and bounces his bouncy seat and is an attentive sister. The hard part so far is when I'm nursing Mac and I can't attend to her every need. If anyone out there has advice for this transition from one to two feel free to pass it on! Especially these early days.

Mac is a good little boy, usually only crying when he's hungry or during his designated fussy time of the day. He loves looking around at black and white objects, or faces, and he responds to music and lights really well. ( I should take him to Vegas.) He wakes up about every three hours at night, and sleeps from feeding to feeding, which is wonderful to me. It is so sweet to hold my newborn son and think of what he will grow to be. 

Little Mac is here!

Mac
November 14, 2006
2:02 pm
7 lbs. 6 oz.
22.5 inches
He is precious!

 

Pied Beauty

GLORY be to God for dappled things—

For skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow;

For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim;

Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls; finches’ wings;

Landscape plotted and pieced—fold, fallow, and plough;
5
And áll trádes, their gear and tackle and trim.


All things counter, original, spare, strange;

Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?)

With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim;

He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change:
10
Praise him.


Gerard Manley Hopkins

My Grandmother's pound cake

My grandmother was a good cook. She came from German stock and had some wonderful recipes that have become legendary in my family. She also lived near Philly, which produces some amazing recipes as well. Some of our favorites are her cheesecake, macaroni-and-cheese-and-tomatoes (made with extra-sharp white cheddar), sloppy joes, coffee cake, and the best pound cake in the world. Yesterday, in the midst of a pre-partem nesting baking urge, I pulled out the recipe, written in her handwriting, and fired up the hand-mixer. (I dreamed of a Kitchen-Aid mixer, lime green, but, hey, that is extravagant and my arm got a work out instead.) It was a cathartic experience as I measured and mixed and got flour everywhere. I baked my cake and even though I didn't cook it quite long enough, it is delicious. The top crust is what me and my dad always fight over. He tries to pick pieces off and I must protect it at all costs. Jay was the crust picker last night. So I made a semi-successful pound cake and tapped into my cooking heritage at the same time.

I miss my grandmother for many reasons, especially the more I've grown up and now that I have children and am more domesticated. We were never close, but the things I've learned about her since her death made me wish that I could now build a relationship with her. That I could have helped her heal and find a Savior. Not that it would be easy...in fact I think it would have been one of the hardest things I could ever try to do, but I wish I could at least try. Anyway, I think she'd be proud that I'm continuing with her recipes, and we could start from there.

This past Saturday my Community Group, some great friends. and my family got together to welcome our baby boy. There was great food, cake, and a gargantuan balloon that my daughter adopted as her very own. I am so thankful for the community to be found through my church, and I can't believe their generosity and how encouraging they are through all the things Jay and I have dealt with over the past couple years.

I wanted to post these pictures from the party. Here is Ruthie giving the sign for "more." She wanted another piece of candy and was being especially emphatic by using the sign I taught her before she could speak, and also using the word itself. She is too cute in her pig tails. I love them.

 

The Belly

My friend Jen posted a picture of me and my baby Mac belly on her blog. I can't remember how to do links so I'll just give you the site address. It's www.entj-entj.blogpot.com.

Phone rage

Today I spent a good chunk of my day on hold with two different companies, trying to get through to a customer service representative. I know much has been written on these automated systems and the enraging way they give you the run around. I overreact when I'm pregnant, so that could explain why I ended up crying after the first round with a company I'll call Hellsouth in order to try to protect them, or maybe protect myself. They are a telecommunications coumpany here in the South, as you might have guessed. We recently switched our phone service to them, and now I think we might get rid of our home phone entirely. We have cell phones, so why bother with an extra number? Maybe this attitude is my nesting instinct kicking in. As the baby's due date approaches, I find myself going crazy, wanting to throw things out, and clean things in final preparations for this child's landing. What makes it worse is that we are just now close to having the actual nursery ready ( I'll be 37 weeks tomorrow, which is considered full term). I wish I could show you before and after pics of the room, but my camera is still on vacation in New Jersey...

Which brings me to my second instance of phone rage today. I called the company I will call Damsung, which produces all sorts of technology, including digital cameras. I sent my camera for repair sometime in August ( I think) and I was calling to check on the little guy since, yes, I am anxious to have a camera with which to photograph my baby boy. Plus, I'm missing photo opportunities with my daughter all the time. So I called Damsung and they play me some lovely recordings and transfer me around the world in 80 seconds, and I end up telling the only human I can reach that the customer service department left me with an answering machine telling me that they will call me back during normal business hours. Hold on. The recording I listened to 40 times while on hold said clearly that normal business hours are Mon-Fri, 9-5, Eastern time. According to my calculations I called at approximately 3:20 central time, which would be 4:20 Eastern. Sooo...New Jersery operator lady informed me that normal business hours are 9-4:30. I found that to be unacceptable. But I was forced to accept this, and I could do nothing except leave a message encouraging them to change their recording. This time I didn't cry. I have become hardened. Pregnant lady won't cry again.

Fall Haiku

the same heat-
now when I'm ready to crunch
in some leaves

Baby Hodges 2

Here is the latest ultrasound picture of our little boy. You can see his face looking at you, his nose squished, and a little bit of his hand by his chin. My husband says these ultrasound pictures are like those magic eye pictures that you have to look at from a distance, squint, and hope you can see the hidden dinosaur or whatever. Maybe it's just a mother's gift, but I can always see just what the picture is. This one was taken on September 11, and I think he is a handsome little guy. During the ultrasound he opened his eyes, then he sucked in fluid through his mouth and blew it out of his nose. It looked like he was coughing, but the doctor said he was just breathing the fluid. It was really fun to watch. He is a very active little boy. He's kicking as I write this. I can't wait to meet him and find out just what he's like. It is so amazing to think of the life that is growing inside me. My belly looks like a basketball, and it is sort of lopsided, veering off to the right. I feel very large, like I felt when it was time to deliver my daughter, but I still have about 6 weeks left. I'll post a picture of the belly when I can.